Posts Tagged ‘excercise’

BUDDHA BELLY’S BACK BABY!

Ok, so my plan to start all over on the weight loss wagon October 13th kind of fell apart. I’ve tried to figure out exactly where I went wrong or what was preventing me from getting back on the wagon and I honestly just can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s laziness? Maybe life in general just got in the way? But that’s no excuse. I need to incorporate this INTO my life, not let life take over.

I want to fit into my size 9 pants again. (Hell, I just want to get out of my maternity pants already!). I want to feel attractive again. I want to have tons of energy. I want to feel good about myself and I want to be proud of myself again.

And so, yesterday I decided to get back on track. I stuck to my Weight Watchers diet like white on rice and I worked out to Jillian Michael’s 30-day Shred. Today I followed Jillian Michaels again since I missed my AquaFit class with Baby Boy and I came under point by 2. I’ve been researching Weight Watcher recipes online and tagging my favourites. I have a grocery list all ready to go with different spices and seasonings to create some pretty cool meals. I’ve even COOKED the past few days — now, this may not seem like a big feat but you have to understand that I don’t cook. I don’t even butter my own toast ‘cuz to me that’s cooking.

And to be honest I feel like I’ve just received a breath of air after being deprived of oxygen for a looong time.  I’m actually excited to re-start this venture rather than dread it like I have been lately.

I’m pumped and I’m ready to bring it.

This Buddha Belly is rollin’ on people! Rollin’ on!!!

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OOOOH THAT HURT…

So this weekend has been one big giant bust. And I totally admit that it was all due to my incredible lack of willpower.

I’ve been so good all week limiting myself to salads (albeit tasty ones, not your run-of-the-mill lettuce and tomato salads, but hey, they’re salads nevertheless) and good sources of protein, etc. But once Friday hit my good sense went out the window (and fell into the path of a mac track, got flattened and slid into a nearby sewer drain where it drowned in sewage…yup, it’s been THAT BAD).

Friday afternoon wasn’t all that bad in terms of the diet. I met up with my gal pal and her four month old son for baby boy’s play-date and since the boys can’t really do much in terms of socializing just yet and the weather didn’t promise to hold out for a casual stroll, she and I rolled into our fave Greek restaurant for a late lunch. I ordered chicken souvlaki (on a stick, not on the bun) with salad and roasted potatoes. Well over my points value for the day but I tried to eat more of the salad and less of the carbs. Oh, and I suppose I should admit to partaking in some Saganaki…but hey, I only ate half of it that’s gotta count for something right???

*sigh* ok fine, I totally screwed myself with the Saganaki.

But Friday evening was the tip of the iceberg. By the time the husband, baby boy and I stepped out the door to get some air after what seemed like a million errands I was starved. The husband was starved. And instead of putting our noggins together and attempting to come up with a healthy late dinner plan we wound up at Kraft Burger at Yonge and Bloor, stuffing our faces with burgers and fries. Oh I know that’s horrible but it doesn’t end there folks, on our way back to the parking lot we passed by a crepe restaurant in trendy Yorkville…

…then backed up and went in…

…then had crepes…

…nutella with banana crepes…

…and a cappuccino…

Oh, the HORROR!!!

So Friday was a wash. And although I knew that on Saturday I would have a “high tea” to attend to celebrate conjoined family birthdays, I really truly thought I could get back on track.

Yah…not so much.

For some odd reason I thought that “high tea” consisted of nothing but tea and little triangle sandwiches and scones. And perhaps in normal circles this is the case. But not this high tea. This one did have the standard triangle sandwiches and scones but it also had chocolates and cupcakes and pastries and…need I go on?

I really wanted to stay on track. I did. I desperately wanted to stick with the triangle sandwiches and the tiny plate of vegetables and dip but the mini cupcakes and the eclairs and the chocolates called to me…BECKONED ME to indulge in all their sweetness. And, seriously, who can pass up mini cupcakes from Cupcake Lane?

So now I’m home after having literally rolled in the door and feeling incredibly guilty and…well…FULL. I know, I know, I shouldn’t beat myself up over this little major setback and surprisingly, I’m not! I feel guilty, yes. I regret my overindulgence, yes. But I’m actually going to take this guilt and regret and am going to use it as motivation to start all over tomorrow with a fresh mindset regarding my food intake, new energy for my fitness regimen, new determination to lose the belly…

…and a brand new set of flex points!!!

THAT EXTRA LIL’ BIT OF MOTIVATION

I’ve never been one to be worried about what others thought of me. Looking back my high school and university days were spent behaving and dressing how I wanted without one single solitary thought as to how I was viewed by others.

But I guess that everyone, at some level, does care a teensy tiny bit about how they look in another person’s eyes. Even back in the day when I was a “vintage whore” in the wardrobe department with jet-black hair and knee-high Doc Martens with tattoos and piercings (have I mentioned how much I miss those yet?), I was very concious of my weight. If there was anything I could change about myself it was my weight. And ironically back then I weighed as much as I did during my pregnancy. I was a heavy girl at 5’4 and 170 lbs. I was always careful to choose fabrics that hid the flab and stood with the heavy weight of insecurity when with my “skinny” friends.

Unfortunately, even after I had shed the weight through the years, I still carry that heavy burden with me — comparing myself to other “thin” girls and launching into panic mode whenever I would put on five or ten pounds repeatedly asking my boyfriend-turned-husband “do I look fat????”.  My husband never understood this. He had always taken me for someone who cared little about what anyone thought of me so why did my weight matter? Yet he would roll his eyes, let out a big sigh and say “you look FINE”. And I never believed him.

So now, as if being trapped in post-pregnancy-wardrobe-limbo wasn’t enough motivation I’ve experienced my worst nightmare. I’ve actually heard what others see.

#1. THE COUSIN WHO ASKED IF I’M HAVING ANOTHER BABY BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE I’M HAVING ANOTHER BABY. Ok granted, she’s five. But we all know that children call it as they see it. It’s one of their quirky qualities. So her question and comment (as innocent as they were) hit me like a suckerpunch to the belly. Obviously she voiced what  many others have been thinking…”is she pregnant again or is that just fat???”

#2. THE SALESLADY IN ‘LE CHATEAU’ WHO TRIED TO SELL ME ON A TOP UNTIL SHE SAW MY BELLY. I’m so serious about this. She went on and on about how gorgeous the colour trends were this season and pulled down a top that would “watch my eyes”. Then HER eyes skimmed over my form and with a slight look of badly-masked-disgust she stopped dead in her tracks and said “Oh. You’ve had a baby.”  Then she put the top back!!! I couldn’t push baby boy out of the store fast enough.

#3. THE SALESLADY IN ‘TRISTAN’ WHO TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO GIVE ME WEIGHT-LOSS ADVICE (UNPROMPTED OF COURSE). Needless to say this chick did not get any commission from me. I was pushing baby boy through the store, browsing through all the beautiful clothes that I can’t wear, when the sales lady came up and gushed about how cute my baby was, blah blah blah. Then she turned to me and put her hand on her stomach and this is how our conversation went:

Her: “D’you know what will get rid of that?”

Me: “Um…get rid of what?”

Her: “That belly. D’you know what worked for me?”

Me: “Are you serious?”

Her: “Giiiiiirrrrrl, I’m telling you, when I had my kids I bought one of those wraps from the sports store and…”

I don’t remember the rest of what she said because all I could focus on was the blood rushing to my face, the angry tears welling up in my eyes and the fact that I was standing in the middle of a store that sold clothes I couldn’t fit into all the while being schooled by a saleslady on how to shed my fat which was apparently spilling out from everywhere. All I know is that I swallowed whatever cussing I was about to throw at her, stretched my lips into a fake smile and backed the hell out of there.

After these recent incidents I’ve become even more concious of the buddha belly, working hard to conceal my blubber. I mean, if complete strangers and innocent children are seeing me as a walking blimp than what are the people I know thinking???

I’ve become even more determined to shed this unwanted weight. For once in my life my concern over what others thought of me has jumped from a point 1 to off the scale completely. So how others are seeing me…or more accurately WHAT they’re seeing is that lil’ bit of extra motivation to keep me on track with my new found diet and fitness.

STATS (as of July 15)

BUST: 38

WAIST: 39 (eek!)

HIPS: 40 (ack!)

WEIGHT: 150.1 lbs (anyone know how many sticks of butter that would be???)

BODY FAT %: 30.3 (yay me)

YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW

OK, so I figured that there’s no real way for anyone to fully understand the dramatic change that my body took on after the baby unless I post photos. So it is with a combination of hesitation, embarrassment and a teeny tiny bit of “blech” that I present Buddha Belly in all her…um…flabbiness?

THEN:


THEN

(PRE-BABY: *sigh* 125 lbs, fit, firm and energetic…how depressing)



NOW:


NOW

(POST-BABY: ugh. 150 lbs, flabby, tired and forced to continue to wear maternity pants)



SOON TO BE…


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(only time will tell…)