Ok, so first off my plan of attack didn’t go so well today. My original plan was to take baby boy and the pooch for a power walk in the morning, get some work at the computer done and out of the way and then go to karate later this evening.

Well kind of got sidetracked with cleaning the condo, making pediatrician appointments (baby boy has a bad cough and cold) and arguing with the husband about going to the dentist appointment I had made for him. I did manage to finish a few schedules and make a few phone calls in addition to the one to the pediatrician. (Which, by the way, is scheduled for Wednesday morning which totally sucks because that’s supposed to be my “Turbo Fit” aerobics class day. Argh. Ah well, baby boy’s health comes first) But the power walk kind of fell by the wayside. And when the thought finally crossed my mind later in the afternoon it had begun to rain. Oh well, I had good intentions right?  Does perspiring while cleaning your home count as a workout? I swear to God, I think that I’m the only person alive who actually perspires while she’s dusting and cleaning the bathroom. And I don’t mean a “whew! It’s a lil’ warm in here” kind of perspire. I mean a “Holy Crap can someone crank the air conditioning???” kind of perspire. I don’t know what it is…maybe I’m cleaning too quickly for my own good? Maybe I’m not cut out to clean my own home? Regardless, the embarrassment level has just jumped to a point 8 out of 10.

Back to my day. So this evening I did manage to drag my butt to karate. And, well, put it this way…I have no idea how I am going to pick up baby boy tomorrow let alone climb out of bed. I hurt that much. See, while I had figured that tonight would be a somewhat simple drills and katas kind of night at the Dojo. Ohhhhh no. Tonight was all about conditioning.

Great! Wonderful!

IF you’re actually in some sort of shape.

If you’re totally lacking muscle and stamina like I am, conditioning is a bloody nightmare.

Here’s just a taste of what I went through. At one point we did an exercise where you hold the ends of 7 pound dumbbells with the tips of your fingers. Now when I say the tips, I mean that the tips of your fingers cannot curl under the edge of the end of the dumbbell. You have to hold the dumbbell up with merely the tips of your fingers. Oh and that’s not all. You have to ever-so-excruciatingly-slowly take stances (or what would seem like baby steps to you I suppose) across the length of the entire Dojo holding the dumbbell’s in each hand that way. And do the length of the Dojo three times. And when you finished that, you had to do it all over again but with each step you had to LIFT the dumbbells straight up in front of you slowly and then lower.

Apparently this kind of conditioning was done way back in the day with a big ceramic jar filled with sand with the tips of your fingers holding it up by its lip. I truly don’t know what kind of jackass comes up with this crap. There’s some kind of Japanese name for this type of conditioning which totally escapes me at the moment but whatever the Japanese name is I’m sure it translates into “*&^%$#@! painful”.

So that was just the beginning. You can just imagine how the rest of the class went, which included suicide runs, performing 50 roundhouses on each leg, 50 front kicks on each leg, never-ending push ups and on and on and on.

Here’s the weird thing: At one point during the weight lifts Renshi asked me if I wanted a lesser weight. I’m positive that the look of anguish on my face probably gave him the hint that I was struggling. And I’m sure that Renshi meant well, but for some reason his comment really got me angry. My blood boiled, my face turned red, I stuck up my chin and I looked at him straight in the eye and said,

“If I start to cry, you can offer me a lesser weight. Until then I have to push it out”.

Even as the words left my lips I was, for a brief moment, shocked that they were my own. I completely surprised myself tonight. A mere few weeks ago I would have gladly accepted the lesser weights and most likely been crying in a corner at some point but here I was, sweating, grunting and muscles shaking unsteadily but CHALLENGING MYSELF. Daring myself to take it one step further. Telling myself that I can do this! I did it before and I can do it again!

And I did. I made it through the class alive. I was in pain and out of breath, but I was still in one piece and feeling unbelievably empowered…

…until I got in my car to go home.

Dudes, it hurt to DRIVE.

BUDDHA BELLY: 0          ABS: 2


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