So this week is what I like to call “prep week” for the official  “Kick My Ass Into Shape” regimen.

Seriously. I’ll take any shape but the one I’m in right now.

So far so good. I’ve dug out my Weight Watchers points books and have managed to stick to a fairly regulated diet of low fat foods. And I’m proud to say that I’ve only hit Starbucks once so far this week. You may scoff at the Starbucks comment but avoiding Starbucks is a bigger feat than it seems. For the last five months I’ve relied on a mid-afternoon Starbucks run to get me through the remainder of my day with the baby and errands, etc. The Barristas at the Starbucks down the street know me by name…and by order.

I’ve been away from Starbucks for more than three days…they’ve probably sent out a search party, deeply concerned that I might be lying in an alley somewhere with an empty Starbucks cup begging for change for my caffeine fix.

Oh, and just as an FYI, no I am not one of those Grande-no-whip-mocha-thingy-ma-bob-with-cinnamon-sprinkles people. I’m a Tall Bold with No-Fat Milk and 3 sugars (which I apply to the coffee myself, thank you very much!)

The gym situation has been a constant frustration for me these past few months. Mainly because it’s hard to find time to hit the gym during the day when you’re attending to a baby… and I’m just too damn tired by the time the husband gets home from work to drag my ass there later in the day.  So after much deliberation I’ve joined Baby & Me Fitness to jump start my rusty butt into high gear.  I say “after much deliberation” because at first glance I took Baby & Me to be nothing but an overpriced gym membership that charges you  up-the-whazoo just for the privilege of taking your baby to class with you.  But I’ve heard amazing things about Baby & Me from other new moms so I’m willing to try it.

Hell, I’d be willing to try riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a herd of hungry tigers if it meant that I’d shed some fatty tissue from my ass.

I’ve also re-registered for karate. For those of you who don’t know, prior to my getting knocked up I was a brown “advanced” belt training for my black belt after four long (yet incredibly motivating and power-inducing) years. It’s taken me five long months to get the courage to dive back in.  This fear is due to:

A) I’ve lost any and all muscle I once had and am left with overall mushy-ness

B) I’m fat. And embarressed about it. Never a good combo.

C) I’m waaaaaaay out of shape.

It took me a while but I finally decided that if I didn’t go back now I’m never going to go back. And what better way to kick my ass into shape again then to literally get my ass kicked, right? So I’ve re-registered, pulled my Gi out from storage and have wracked my brain trying to remember my katas so that I don’t walk into the dojo with an empty head as well as mushy muscles.
And so…we’re off!

Here’s to low fat foods, working out baby-style, getting my ass kicked and all the while hoping that all this hard work will result in getting me back into shape…

…any shape but ROUND.


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